...Then Stop Giving Up.
Such a menial phrase. Yet it's powerful. Powerful enough that I have tried to stop giving up so many times only to give up and get frustrated and feel like a dog chasing its tail and never catching it.
If you do a Google search... this is what you get...
The images stretch on forever, and most all carry the same message: "If you're tired if starting over, then stop giving up."
I looked back over the years on this blog I had so many good posts. I look at the progress I had made and wonder, what was different then than now? Back then... I was at a job I hated, I had a gym membership but cardio was my only go-to (never weights), I would go for walks, or bike rides, or go outside even in the dead of summer when it was hotter than Satan's ballsack. Seriously.
What's going on in my life now that I can't be as successful as I was when I was unhappy for 40+ hours a week? Because I love my job now... I really do. Of course it's full of drama, and of course there are cliques I will never fit into, but turning 30 gave me a new perspective: Not everyone has to like me or has to be as friendly to me as I am to them, and now I'm learning to be okay with that. I used to need everyone's approval, and now I know that I only need my own approval (and at work the boss's approval lol). I have made a few new friends that are spectacular, and some other acquaintances that are fast becoming friends. I'm learning that it's okay for me to spend time with them and leave John to his devices; he's also becoming more social for my sake, often accompanying me to events and gatherings that normally he might not want to go. And if I wasn't so sure he'd find this blog (which, if he does, whatever: Hi honey!), I'd let you in on his birthday gift, but I'll keep that close to the chest for now.
Anyway, I'm going to be doing some soul searching this week. Really trying to figure out what it holding me back, what I think is holding me back (but isn't), and taking a serious inventory on how badly I'd like to lose the excess weight and get back to a healthy zone (notice I didn't say "skinny" or any derivative. I know I'm not meant to be skinny, but if I'm at a healthy weight and have a doctor's nod of approval, that's all I need).
I have a Yes.Fit race I'm currently doing: the Everglades Race, and I have completed only 37.1% since April when I started it. To compare to my kick-ass bestie Amy, she has done I believe 2 more races ON TOP OF the Everglades one since then. So, come July I had better get my ass in gear!!