Personal Trainer - Lila

So, in a hail-mary of an effort to kickstart myself back into gear, I looked into hiring a personal trainer. I googled, and came to thumbtack.com, their tagline right on the front says it all, "From house painting to personal training, we bring you the right pros for every project on your list." It looked alittle like what Care.com is for babysitters and nannys, but for everything else.
So, I put in an "ad" for a personal trainer. I put in the basics like my name, location, email, etc... then I also put in what I was looking for in a personal trainer. Gender preference, price range, what style of personal training I was looking for (more Jillian Michaels, or more Bob Harper?), and then sat and waited.
The next day, (previous Thursday),  I had multiple responses. the first one I looked at was out on Ft Myers Beach (hah! no thanks)... I sent her a message explaining how I cannot travel that far. The next two, Mike and Lila, were both very enthusiastic in their messages to me.
Mike, a former MMA fighter turned coach, had more of the crossfit/bootcamp style to his look and home gym. Battle ropes, heavy bags, speed bags, it was an awesome little piece of fitness heaven.
Lila, was this adorable little blonde who had the Jillian Michaels scowl down pat and was all about the HIIT training (high intensity interval training). She lived 3.2 miles away from me.
I met Mike last Monday, and he was very nice. He was running an October special where you could bring a workout partner for free. But, even if he didn't mean it, there was a catch. It was already the 12th, he had no openings that week, the next week he was going on vacation, so my training would not start until the 26th. Oh, so my husband can come three times and that's it?? Cool!... [NOT].
Last Wednesday, I met Lila. Even before meeting with her (or even hiring her!) She sent me this whole big email with tons of information on it! It had meal suggestions, pantry lists, good and bad foods, snack suggestions, all sorts on healthy information! And best of all?? SHE WASN'T SELLING ME A SHAKE, PROTEIN POWDER, PILL, OR FALSE PROMISE! She called those things and fad diets "total bullhockey" and said stay away! Her meeting was alittle different. She took my vitals down like my BP, my height, weight, and measurements. I did a bodyfat test (we'll get to this in a minute), and then we went through a workout. Like, a real... legit... workout. no wait, let me back up, first she put me through a fitness test. How many pushups, how long I could hold a plank, how long I could hold squats and lunges, etc. It was to see where my weak areas were (core and arms, which I knew).
So, we're going through this workout. She explains what each move is if I'm unfamiliar, and we do as many [SAFE] reps as we can in a 45sec period followed by 10sec of rest. And she meant it. There was only pauses to explain a move if I wasn't sure what it was, and then we went right back into it.
Needless to say, I hired Lila. And she's AWESOME.

Going back to the body fay thing, so this little handheld device said I'm at 36% bodyfat. For my height and weight, that's obese. Obvs. lol
She put down her pen and looked over all of my information. She then looked at me and said "I'm going to be honest. You're going to be the one who has to put in the work to make the change." I told her I knew that, and that I was ready to do so, especially because I'm now going to pay someone to help me with the things I struggle with. She then said "Well, in that case, I feel confident that if you do 2-3 sessions a week, put in your best effort, change up some of the dietary suggestions we've talked about so far, I think you could lose 10% points by the New Year"

HOLD THE PHONE!

Did she really just say that? She sure as sugar did! And I got excited. It was the first time anyone outside of those who have to be nice to me (friends and family), looked beyond the shell, the outside, and saw the potential I had inside. I damn near cried right then and there. So, instead I held out my hand and said, "You're hired!"

Fast forward a few days, and yesterday (Saturday), Lila and I met in a little park to do our workout. Her in-laws wanted one last day by the pool, so we took our workout outside. And it was a beautiful morning! We met around 11:00, which meant I left the house at 10:20, because I walked the 1.2 miles to get there (it's so close to my house I figured why not add that little extra!)

We get warmed up, HIIT style (squats, punches, etc, in sets with little rest between). Then we go through the workout. She said, "Ok, I want us to get through this 8 times over. It's called the Unyielding Workout." We got through it 4 times. My knees did start to get sore, but I knew my mind was trying to give up. I also am alittle slow, because yes, I'm out of shape. So, my goal for next time is to work on making the move perfect, rather than keeping up with speed. Lila says she'd rather have 1 perfect lunge than 10 crooked or rushed ones.

Unyielding Workout

20 Squats

Pyramid Burpees (first set 10, next set 9, next set 8, etc)

10 Lunges back to front (lunge back, then step that leg forward into a front lunge, then do other leg)

10 plank walk push ups

20 shoulder taps

20 mountain climbers

10 side-side punch sit ups (sit up, punch left, then right, then back down)

10 leg raises (to 45 degrees only)

20 Russian twists

Talk about unyielding! She let me have about a minute or two between sets, and little time between the reps themselves (enough time for water or to adjust my mat).

She also gave me "homework"... finish the other 6 sets I have not done of this workout! She didn't say she wanted them done before our next session, but I am going to try and have them done by Wednesday at the latest!

Lila did not sell me false hope, or give me any sort of forced pep talk. She is enthusiastic and loves to give positive reinforcement, but only when I deserve it! She asks for deeper lunges and gives me alternative when my knees just can't do it anymore!

I have three session this upcoming week: Monday after work, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I am excited! I want to show her my food diary and exercise log and show her I'm trying to put the work in on my end! I have had a couple of cheat foods, but Lila says that's okay as long as they are "cheat meals", not "cheat days", because I'll undo all of the work I'm putting in.. I have struggled a little bit so far with the food, but I keep looking back at all of the health stuff she sent me and am working on eating closer to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle.

I'll close with the biggest reason why I think Lila is going to help me achieve what I want with my life and body... I lost 5lbs alone from Wednesday to Saturday, by changing what I eat and getting that first ass-kicking workout in!

Motivation And My Lack Of It

In honor of Amy getting back on the horse with her latest blog post, I decided to name my latest post with the same title!

I have had quite a last few... months. Weeks. Days. Hours.
I'm on an emotional roller coaster, with no signs of slowing. It has been about 6 months since the IUD placement, and my hormones are still not leveling out like I had hoped; but the doctor said it could take up to a year before I really feel "in control".

"In control".... what a bullshit term. I am not in control of anything. At least it feels that way.

My eating has gotten completely out of control again. My exercise is a laughable excuse of not having enough hours in the day or days in the week. My emotions are a damn train-wreck of fire and burning bodies and death.

I miss my besties. I wish they lived closer. As it is, I have been filling my need for social connection with new friends, alcohol, and drunken rambles about life, and how I feel like a shitty human being.

In honor of this blog post, I also feel obligated to share some secrets and news.

Secret 1: I am trying to find a new job. And I'm using connections in my current job to do so.

Secret 2: I have finally broken down, and have reached the point where I hate myself more than my inflamed and oversized ego can cover for. My depression is leaking like a small puncture in a balloon, and if I don't seek therapy soon, I have a real fear that I may try and hurt myself to escape the mental pain. (For those reading, please do not Baker Act me. I know I need help, and I am actively seeking it. Actively: have names and numbers of therapists and just need the week to start so I can call them).

News 1: I am also so sick and tired of putting in minimal effort at the gym and not seeing the magical results the irrational side of me thinks should be there, so I've looked into getting a personal trainer/nutritionist. I have two I am currently interviewing, with one I hope to meet tomorrow and another I hope to meet on Wednesday.

For the one tomorrow, John is even coming with me. Because right now, this guy has a special where you get someone to work out with you for free for the month! I think it would be cool if John was able to get on board with this. Right now, I think he's only coming with me because I asked him to and he might feel I am trying to guilt him into it. The truth of the matter is that I want him to change for himself, because I'm doing it for ME too, I'm not doing it for him.

The woman I'm likely meeting on Wednesday is close to my age, cute as a button, and hopefully able to kick my ass into gear. I have already explained I need tough love from her, and would love to be pushed to my limits!

Both personal trainers will come at a cost, and it's not a pretty one. Both are manageable, especially with my most recent pay increase, but at the same time my irrational fear is that I will pay for the month and go like two times. Or maybe, it will have the opposite effect and I will be more motivated to go and "get my money's worth", so to speak.

I am still full to the brim with emotions and thoughts and everything else... But, I don't have the energy to write any more.

I'm sure I'll post an update to my personal trainer stuff this week! :)

Photography Challenge - October

While it was fun to do the Plank Challenge with Amy, it was time to refocus and maybe spent the month practicing some self-love.

So we're doing a photography challenge!!

I know that there are 31 days in the month and this challenge only has 30 days, so we'll have to come up with a helluva day 31 photo!

Follow me on Instagram - @PinkElbows

And follow Amy on Instagram - @AmyBickmore

As well as her FaceBook page - Diary of a Fat Girl

And her blog as well!! - Diary of a Fat Girl

Sticks and Stones... A response to Nicole Arbour's "Dear Fat People" video

So, if you haven't heard, Comedian Nicole Arbour posted a video this week that the media and a ton of people is labeling as a "fat-shaming" video. I watched it, to see what the hype was about..

I can't say I found it funny (a few parts were chuckle-worthy). But offensive? Bullying? Fat-shaming?

Since when do we live in a world where someone else's words automatically dictate how we feel about ourselves?

I learned a long time ago (elementary school) that people are going to say mean things. And they will say them for a variety of reasons: maybe they are put down at home by a sibling or a parent, maybe their self esteem is low and they cut down others to make themselves feel better (which in turn only makes them feel worse), maybe they know that controversy is really the only way for attention, maybe they really are a sociopath and have no regard for anyone else, or maybe they are a high-functioning autistic who has no filter on their mouth. Whatever their reason, it's up to you to decide how someone else's words make you feel.

Self-proclaimed "fat girl" Whitney Thore even posted a response to Nicole's video. I have not watched that one, and truthfully, I don't want to. Whitney has done alot to open the dialogue for weight issues in the media. I hear she even has her own show on some TV channel, good for her. If being the "fat girl" is who she wants to be, that's fine.

People have asked me, "Well, what do you think about that fat chick Whitney?" .... Am I supposed to have an opinion on this? My favorite is to ask people why they think I even know who she is or support her cause.... "Well... you know... because.... [they gesture to my overweight body]...."

This is what's wrong with the country. It's not the fight themselves, but the globalization of these fights. A white cop shoots a black man, and all of a sudden the whole country is in an uproar about race violence. When statistics and truth show that black-on-black violence is much more common and often more deadly than white-on-black. A large woman self labels as a "fat girl" and is proud of who she is, and all of a sudden anyone not in a single-digit jean size should be too? No, you'll actually find many overweight individuals don't like the extra attention they are getting because of this body movement. I am one of them. Leave me and my personal demons alone; just because I carry mine on the outside doesn't mean you're allowed to comment on them. Mothers who don't breastfeed their child for one reason or another are automatically labeled bad mothers, when you truly don't understand the struggle it can be to breastfeed or the numerous biological impairments that can happen or the emotional havoc it can wreak on a mother who so desperately wants to nurse but find that she cannot for whatever reason. No one has their whole story written on their skin, so stop talking to people like you've read it all before.

Because I'm overweight automatically means I'm behind and supportive of this  #NoShameBodyCampaign .... No, I am ashamed of my body. If I could hide from the world I would. But, a girl's gotta work. I put myself in this body, and it sure as hell isn't going to lose itself overnight. I am working on it. But like life, there is no one single answer. It's not black and white. It's black, and white, and grey, and green, and blue, and pink.

This leads me back up to the Eleanor Roosevelt quote above: "NO ONE can make you feel inferior without your CONSENT."

You go, Eleanor!

I learned a long time ago that people are going to have their opinions. Moreover, they will sometimes give you their opinions without asking if you'd like it. Even moreso, they will force their opinion on you and get angry when you don't support or agree with it. You just have to let it go in one ear and out the other. You need to make the best decision you can with what you have, and go from there.

I won't condone what Nicole has posted on YouTube. After all, it's her own account and Free Speech is still a constitutional right (although I think she's from Canada? How does that work?) People can have their opinions, but no one should be threatening harm or violence, or egging someone else on to kill themselves. That's just plain wrong, in any context. Even comedians dare not go there without serious backlash. Suicide is not funny.

Let the comedian continue to say what is funny or edgy to her. I think she has great potential aside from the pot-stirring she is doing now from all this attention. Her video on the "The History of BRAS" is pretty funny to me...

The 35 Day Challenge and its Challenges! Plus a NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

Hello!

I am now 11 days into my #Julies35DayPlan (follow me with that hashtag on Instagram!) and it has been a struggle so far. Not only have some of my planned days been completely changed, but I find that it is hard to really fit what I've planned into my day.

But, NO EXCUSES! I have still hit the gym every single day except for one, where I still managed to make it count by working out at home. I am trying to shift focus to my eating moreso than the exercise, because that seems to need more attention from me!

Anyway, for Days 11 - 14 I am going to continue the way I did where I searched Pinterest for a new workout to try. For Week 3, I will find a Pin for each of my areas (arms, legs, core, abs, circuit, booty) and I will use the same routine for the whole week. I think that will alleviate some stress and also be easier for me to keep track of!

Amy also decided to challenge me a bit more... though that may not have been her intention from the start, it has turned into a challenge we are going to take head on and totally kill it!!

I do not know why I'm doing this. It's crazy and will be CRAZY CHALLENGING!!! But, I know I can do it! I mean.... how hard can a 5 minute plank REALLY BE?!?!?! (haha... I'm slightly dying on the inside because 20 seconds is torture!)

Anyway, you can follow our antics on Instagram by using the hashtag:

Amy is a genius and came up with this awesome double-meaning tag! Fa = Florida, Ca = Canada, [FaCaing] as a whole sort of sounds out to sound like [Fu*king] And then you have Planks in there. Genius!!

Find us on Instagram!

PinkElbows (me)

AmyBickmore (Amy)

Just checking in...

Hello bloggers! I'm just checking in on you.... how the hell are ya?!?!

Things with me have been a roller coaster... And not necessarily all a good one!

My Maid of Honor/Cousin/Practically Sister/Bestie and my Ex-Roommate/Husband's Bestie/BrothaFromAnothaMotha/Best Man got married about 3 weeks ago. It was such a fun time and it was beautiful and wonderful and I could not be happier that they found each other. They both deserve so much happiness and goodness in their lives and I think they found it in each other.

That being said, there was drama stirred up. The short of it is that my Mother decided to give her opinion away without being asked for it, and it was a rude/mean/uncalled for opinion at that. Luckily, those on the receptive end of this opinion knew how much of a shitty selfish person she is and didn't give this any thought.. They deleted the message and moved on.

I, on the other hand, also dealt with her shit, and adding the stunt she pulled with that other person, well... I went into a Hulk-like rage. It had me fuming and writing what was going to be the most epic and mean tell-off in the history of tell-offs. But, my husband calmed me down and reminded me that this is the game she plays. She manipulates and baits me and waits for me to fall into her trap. Well not this time. Instead, I enjoyed a nice weekend away from her, away from the sadness and hurt I felt, away from the shame of knowing just how selfish and mean she really is and away from the fact that she does not really care for me. If she did, she would not manipulate and hurt me the way that she did and has for years.

When I got back from the Wedding Weekend, I decided it was time to finally separate with love. As in, I cannot access my love for her any longer. I will always love her to a degree as she is the woman who brought me into this world, but I can no longer be the friend she wants or thinks she needs because it is emotionally and psychologically toxic for me. So, I started writing letters. They were very angry letters, filled with the CAPS LOCK and hurtful words and even a few death wishes. But of course I did not send these to her. These are therapeutic, and are for my eyes only.

I am still writing letters when I feel a rise of emotion, because I cannot break up with her while I'm angry. It means she's won. No, I need to break up with her when I'm calm and at peace with myself. It's only when I'm in my happy place can I reserve the emotions that will undoubtedly play out when I tell her that I want to limit my contact with her for a while until she can learn to stand on her own two feet instead of digging her heels into my back while she stands on me.

I was in the angry place for a long time. I only recently moved through the rest of the 5 stages of grief and into the acceptance stage. At this point, I have still limited my contact with her. Mostly it is because I want to confront her face to face. I don't want it to be via email, phone, or text, because she can gain the high ground if I'm not in front of her. I am still not quite sure what I want to say, but I think it's best for now if I just limit my contact with her. A phone call once a month, and she can stay my friend on Facebook... or a phone call once a week and I will no longer be her friend on Facebook. I think those will be the choices I give to her. But I don't want to see her right now, and I don't think I will want to for a long time. I am still hurt. I don't think she will ever understand just how little she made me feel and how ashamed I was to my friends. My heart aches for my mother to be just a mother to me, but she has a stranglehold on my life like I can never be 100% happy without her, but I have never even been 75% happy with her.

I'm sorry I ranted. Even talking with John and my M.I.L, I still feel like I am carrying a truckload of emotion on my shoulders. I'm looking into getting a therapist, someone who can help me be objective and listen without judgement and help me to figure out what the hell to do. I just can't really commit to a set day/time session, and I haven't found someone I can make varying sessions with yet.

Anyway, moving on.

I have been back on the wagon and hitting it hard with my eating habits and exercise. I have logged everything through LoseIt that has gone into my mouth since Monday, July 27th and have been to the gym all but 3 days since then as well. My FitBit died and it took me about a week to replace it, so my steps are alittle low, but that has been fixed now and I am back to counting my steps as well.

I have created a little spreadsheet for the next 5 weeks to help me work out more than just my gossip-mouth on the treadmill. I took an idea from Pinterest to rotate what I work out. Notice I have cardio every day but Saturday, because it is healthy to keep up, even if it's a 30 minute walk. And my cardio will vary from day to day... it may be the bike, it may be the elliptical, it may be zumba... Who knows?! (Well, I do, as I have planned out my workouts for the next week).

I have also added some targeted zones I want to work out. Core will be alot of planks and yoga, to help gain a sense of balance. Arms, legs, abs, will all have focuses within their groups. I may focus on obliques one session and my back another (in the abs category). I may only work my shoulders and triceps as opposed to my chest and biceps. The circuit is all about an overall balance of working my whole body, and of course my favorite category, "Dat Booty". lol. I couldn't help it. I want a nice, plump butt. I love how they look on people, and I want one damnit!

I added one day of rest each week as well, to ensure I'm giving my muscles time to recover. On the days I do one category more than once (like three days of arms in a row Sun-Tues), I am planning on focusing on lower weight but higher reps, to make sure I don't overload my muscles. I will also rotate the focus on the specific muscle groups, so I don't do any damage. I am finding most of my workouts through Pinterest, and keeping them simple with the use of hand barbells, kettlebells, and a stability ball.

So, where does this put me really? Well, when I started logging my food (7/27) I weighed in at 250lbs. Ouch. As someone who vowed never to join the 250-club again, I was awfully disappointed on myself. I weighed in yesterday, as I think I will make a habit of doing, and was down to 243.2lbs. A loss of 6.8lbs. Not as impressive as you may think. Most of it I'm sure is sugar/soda weight. I have not had a soda since I started tracking my calories. And also since I really put it in my head that if I want a soda I might as well eat the 16.5 sugar cubes that are contained in a 20oz bottle. Yeah.... 16 and a half sugar cubes! YIKES!! I pinned this graphic and have put this near my desk and on the fridge so I know exactly what I should do if I want another soda.

So anyway, my goal is to hit 200 before the new year is up. It will be tough, considering Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are the big eating holidays for me and my family, but I think I will make it work. John and I are in charge of Thanksgiving this year, and I will be on the hunt for a special plate to use very soon. It will be one of those divided plates and I will make sure I am balancing my calorie-heavy foods with the healthy stuff. It may be alittle less "traditional" than everyone is used to, but they will deal with it. :-P

If you look below, this is my current stats on LoseIt. Based on losing 2lbs per week, I should hit my goal in January. But I will need to be a little more vigilant and kick that into losing it by the end of the year. If I can continue to stay away from the soda and limit my take on sugary goodness bad stuff, and keep track of my calories in VS calories out, I should have no problem hitting that goal. I'm also looking for a New Year's Day 5k or maybe even a half marathon to run. It will give me a tangible running goal to work towards.

That was all I really had going. I miss being on here and blogging. Even though I only have a few followers (Thanks Amy and Ashley! <3) I like the idea of this helping me to hold myself accountable.

2015 Reading Challenge - Updated 7/10/15

Update - 7/10/15 - So, I'm reposting this as a blog so it comes up in the newest feed. I will do that for every month and highlight the books I've finished.

I took what seems to be the entire month of June off. I think I read one book. Wow. I have some catching up to do for sure!! :)




So, one of my co-workers who is also a Pinterest user found this 2015 Reading Challenge.

It looks like the list originates from PopSugar, which is a website I love for their fitness tips and articles.

I'm compiling my list of books now, so that way I don't need to wait to transition from book to book. I feel pretty good. I might only be able to have a good run for the Spring, because I'm hoping to start at my University for the summer at least, if not the fall. This will be updated periodically, as I find more books to add to the list. I'll also be striking through what I have read.

So, here'e reading list, and my picks! (And the date I finished them!)

• A book with more than 500 pages
• Inferno, Dan Brown
• A classic romance
• The Princess Bride, William Goldman
• A book that became a movie
• Still Alice, Lisa Genova
• A book published this year
• Playlist for the Dead, Michelle Falkoff
• A book with a number in the title
• Four, Veronica Roth
• A book written by someone under 30
• The Kissing Booth, Beth Reekles
• A book with nonhuman characters
• The Underneath, Kathi Appelt
• A funny book
• My Horizontal Life, Chelsea Handler
• A book by a female author
• The Other Boleyn Girl, Philippa Gregory 1-12-15
• A mystery or thriller
• Eyes, Joseph Glass 6-29-15
• A book with a one-word title
• Blood, Joseph Glass
• A book of short stories
• What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, Raymond Carver
• A book set in a different country
• The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
• A nonfiction book
• The Astronaut Wives Club, Lily Koppel
• A popular author's first book
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey
• A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet
• Afterworld, Scott Westerfeld
• A book a friend recommends
• Prayers For Sale, Sandra Dallas 6-10-15
• A Pulitzer Prize winner
• Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout
• A book based on a true story
• A Stolen Life, Jaycee Dugard
• A book at the bottom of your to-read list
• Casual Vacancy, J.K. Rowling
• A book your mom loves (except my mom doesn't read so in going to read a book my husband loves)
• 
  
• A book that scares you
• The End of Alice, A.M. Holmes
• A book more than 100 years old
• At the Pulpits of Wittenberg, Martin Luther (NOT MLKJr.)
• A book based entirely on its cover
• 
  
• A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't
• The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
• A book you can finish in 1 day
• Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak
• A book with antonyms in the title
• Death: A Life, George Pendle
• A book set somewhere you've always wanted to visit
• A book that came out the year you were born
• Misery, Stephen King, 1987 1-28-15
• A book with bad reviews
• 
  
• A trilogy
• Matched, Ally Condie 3-3-15
• Crossed, Ally Condie 3-6-15
• Reached, Ally Condie
• A book from your childhood
• Hatchet, Gary Paulsen
• A book with a love triangle
• Mr. Fox, Helen Oyeyemi 4-21-15
• A book set in the future
• Allegiant, Veronica Roth
• A book set in high school
• Bully, Penelope Douglas
• A book with a color in the title
• The White Queen, Philippa Gregory
• A book that made/will make you cry
• By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead, Julie Ann Peters 1-31-15
• A book with magic
• The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger
• A graphic novel
• Vampire Academy Graphic Novel Series, Leigh Dragoon 7/10/15
• A book by an author you've never read before
• Drawing Dead, Bennett Shelfer (I've met the author but never read his book!)
• A book you own but have never read
• Unlimited, Jillian Michaels
• A book that takes place in your hometown
• Sworn Jury, John D. Mills
• A book that was originally written in a different language
• The Night Watch, Sergei Lukyanenko
• A book set during Christmas
• A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
• A book written by an author with your same initials
• The Fault in Our Stars, John Green
• A play
• Doubt, John Patrick Shanley
• A banned book
• Of Mice and Men, Gary Steinbeck
• A book based on, or turned into a TV show
• The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle
• A book you started but never finished
• The Autobiography of Henry VIII, Margaret George

If you love reading, this list is a challenge. I had a hard time finding books written by authors with my same initial, and finding books set in my hometown. What I look forward to most is finding some new authors to love, instead of sticking to my old reliables!

Hero's Failure and Getting Back Up

As much as my dearest friend Amy has been checking in on me, I have failed to keep up with the Hero's Journey. I realize now, that it was way too much, too fast. How was I to hit the ground at 60 mph, when really I should start with a light jog and then maybe some healthy eating? After all, I keep telling myself and all of you that it's ...

So, I'm making a change. 30 Days of it to be exact.

Because, not only does Darebee.com have the Hero's Journey, but they have over a half dozen more programs to help you, and most of them do not require weights of any kind!!

So, I looked through them, and am trying a new program. Starting tomorrow (Monday). 30 Days of Change.

30 Days of Change

BOOM.

It's not complicated, no points or storyline. Just simple, every day exercises. And easier ones at that. Because believe me when I say that doing "pushups til failure" means I only do 1. Because my upper arm strength is nonexistent.

Along with this new program, I'm going to focus back on my eating. (See 1st pic above). I need to realize at some point that eating shit and working out do not go together. I will not be following Darebee.com's Modern Hero Diet like I tried with the Hero's Journey, but I will be using it as a guide. John is cooking up like 10lbs of chicken breast today for the week, and I will portion out accompanying sides like brown rice, brussel sprouts, and so on, to go with my protein. I will also focus on making delicious breakfasts and limiting my snacking to veggies or fruit only. And, I'm back off soda, AGAIN.

It feels like a song and dance I do monthly, but I have printed several copies of this....

...and have put them in all of the important places, which I will rotate weekly, or else I will just ignore it. This week I have one in the office above my computer monitor, and one in the mirror on my sun visor, which I use almost every day.

So, here's to another chance, another change, and 30 days of success. 

Hero's Journey by Darebee: Day 1

Today wasn't the greatest day ever. By no stretch, was it the worst either. I was overworked and underFED at work today (no lunch in a 10-hour shift), plus I packed and hauled a total of 480-ish pounds in 28 varying size boxes up and down counters and my whole body ached when I got home.

I convinced the husband to take me out, and we went to a local salad bar where I did pretty good, considering I hadn't eaten since this morning. Then I came home and we cooked about 12 chicken breasts for lunches/meals for the week, as well as broke up a pork loin into 2 roasts (freezed) and about 10 chops (4 kept out) for my pork nights this week.

Then I came into the office and powered through the Hero's Journey Day 1 workout.

It sucked. I was miserable, and it wasn't even that hard.

Day 1 - Press "Start" To Play
Level I - 60 Reps

Side Leg Raises
Squats
Mountain Climbers
Toe Tap Hops

See... Not terrible. But it hurt. Especially those mountain climbers. Brutal on my already sore shoulders!

Anyway, here were my meals for the day:

Meals Planned:
-Breakfast: oatmeal with fruit + 1 banana
-Meal A: ham, tomato, lettuce sammich
-Meal B: roasted pork with brussel sprouts (as I do not have green beans)
-Snackie: cottage cheese

Meals Executed:
-Breakfast: oatmeal with fruit
-Snackie: cottage cheese

Everything else I ate was not on the meal plans. UGH!

I will get my before pictures up soon, so look for an update on that!

Interesting Article

So, I was grocery shopping today, and I got in the car after loading my groceries in the trunk of the car, and my brain had a really interesting question for me.

What happens to the shelf life of veggies if you cut them up?

Seems pretty harmless, but if you've ever cut up an avocado and then walked away for 10 minutes, you know that sometimes the air and knife can be mean to your food.

I was more interested in my snacking veggies, like carrots and celery and green peppers; durable nuggets of produce goodness that I can pack in my lunch and nibble on whenever. I just am not a fan of bringing whole pieces to work, and I get funny looks if I pack a paring knife with me.

So, I asked Google. "Hey Google, what happens when I cut my veggies up ahead of time?"

For once, the first result was not only helpful, but exactly what I was looking for!

"How does cutting, slicing, and chopping affect fresh vegetables?"

It's a semi-tough read, getting somewhat technical and biological about "harming" the veggies (bear with me, it gets better).

But basically, what I took away from the article, was that you should have the shortest amount of time possible from cutting the veggies to consumption for most, but that the sharper the blade, the less "stress" you cause the veggie, and the more fresh your veggie stays. For durable veggies like carrots and celery and the like, you have more time before expiration than you do with more sensitive veggies, like lettuce and mushrooms (although they are technically a fungus and not a veggie). You would also want to research and store like-veggies together in a proper container.

All in all, I know I can go ahead and chop up my carrots, celery, and green peppers and put them in tupperware for the week. I can also dice onions for any weeknight meals, so long as I use them in a few days. It will help make meal preps go faster, and portions stay controlled better.

Happy eating, y'all! :)

"Just Start Over"

Well. Today's it. May 1st. I'm officially 28. Nearing my 30's. Wow.
I don't feel different. But I know if I put up a picture of me 10 years ago at 18 and one now, you'll see the differences. Maybe I'll do just that... But not tonight.

So, about the title. There's a short story involved...

I went to lunch today at work. Frustrated, and not having packed a lunch, I went next door to Subway. I got the least healthy sub I felt like eating (A sweet onion chicken teriyaki 6") and was telling the sweet woman behind the counter about my crappy day. She's always so nice, and I have no idea what her name is. Anyway, she said to me, "You know, if you are having a bad day, just start over."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I wanted to joke about how my dad always said if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (and was a grouch) he would put me back in bed and tell me to get up on the other side.

"It means just that. If you're having a bad day, if something has gone wrong, then just start over. Right then. Make the choice that right now is a new day, and approach it with the right attitude."


...Whoa. Deep.

And it makes SENSE!

It means to leave that day behind and begin again. Don't worry about what has happened, or what didn't; what needs to be done or that you did something you shouldn't have. Just start over.



So.... that is my mini-goal for this week. If my day hasn't gone the right way, or if something has happened to piss me off, or make me miserable, I'm going to just start over. Treat it like a new day. Like no one has fucked it up or ruined it for me. I will check my emotions at the door, and start fresh-faced with a positive outlook.

27 Things I've Learned So Far In Life ... The Final Post

This is a continuation from Part 1, and Part 2....

19. I want very much to correct the ignorance I see every day, but don't have the heart to be rude or corrective to people I don't know.
I know this sounds weird. I had to rewrite that sentence 6 times before I found the best wording. Basically, people I see every day in and out of my work, at the store, in  the car next to me, they are all a bunch of rude assholes. No, really. I know that I'm no means perfect in any way, but people today just don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks. They are rude and want immediate gratification. Look lady, I'm sorry you waited until the day of an event to get a poster made, but yelling at me because there is a 6 hour turnaround isn't going to A) make me want to help you any more that I am, nor B) going to get your order expedited to the front of the queue. Instead what will come out is profuse apologies and the hope that maybe, maybe, I can sneak your order in somewhere. Yesterday I finally felt the first crack at my superb customer service, when this asshole decides to ring me and proceeds to try and skin me through the phone because one of my other coworkers misspoke about a service we offered. In front of my boss, I politely tried to tell him that if he continued to speak to me that way, I'd hang up until he can speak to me like a normal, respectful human being. Except that Asshole Jim (as I call him) wasn't letting me get this out as he was continuing to scream through the phone, so I said, loudly, cutting him off "Okay sir I'm hanging up now, please call back when you have learned to speak to me respectfully, and not a moment before it. And kindly learn how to treat others like a human and not some personal slave you think you own" and then I simply hung up on Screaming Asshole Jim. My boss was speachless, but didn't have anything to say as I was both polite and tolerant, without being superrude. Of course, Asshole Jim called back immediately, and my boss picked up the phone, waited a breath while I heard screaming, and then hung up on him again. Apparently, he didn't think we were serious. I thought it was hilarious. He didn't call back after that.
Look people, just because you have never worked in customer service/retail/food service, does not mean you have the right to treat others like shit. You need to learn that they are human beings too.. they make mistakes, and they can't produce miracles. If you want something, you have to wait in line like everyone else. Things take time, and cannot be made with magic.


20. There are no miracle cures, fast-fix diets or fitness trends, and I am going to have to work 6 times as hard to lose the weight as I did to put it on.
This is correct. I have to work six times as hard! Not twice, not three times.... SIX. Why? Because losing weight and getting healthy is not just one dimensional... it's a LIFE change and you need to be on board with ALL aspects. Your DIET needs to change, your FITNESS habits need to change (or START if you're a couch potato), your FRIENDSHIPS need to change (They need to be supportive of you, or you don't need them!), your FAMILY needs to change (I'm not suggesting a new family, just that they need to be supportive of you and not just accepting), your SLEEP needs to change (whether it be regulating your sleep cycle and setting bed times and wake times, or by getting medical help to make sure when you do sleep it's a restful sleep), and your ATTITUDE needs to change (turn the "I can't"s into "I will"s, and the impossibles into challenges!).


21. My gut is the best weapon I have.
It tells me when things are right, when things feel wrong (both biologically and also situationally), it tells me when I am speaking to a liar and when I can feel safe. It's very rarely wrong, and it serves me well in new situations. I trust it completely, and even in the times when it has been wrong, I have learned from it and gained understanding and insight.


22. I used to think all of my friends left me.... but now I realize that I am the one who isn't moving.
My best friends and close friends have drifted in and out of my life for a long time. I used to think it was them who had abandoned me. Take for example my high school BFF "M", who left for college to the middle of Florida, and then found the love of her life and now resides in the Midwest with her husband and the most adorable son of all time. I felt for a long time that if she were really my best friend, she would have stayed and suffered silently with me in SW Fla. Now, I realize, she did not leave me, she simply grew up and moved on. We still talk and text, and last year I flew out to surprise her at her baby shower. Those are not actions of someone who was left behind, those are actions of a high school BFF. I still love her as much now as I did then, and am so happy she found her place in life! Now... I just need to work on finding mine.


23. I am more transparent than I should be, and sometimes that bites back.
I tend to be honest. Brutally honest at times, but mostly because I just don't want to be caught in a lie, or have to explain myself for why I didn't tell the truth. Sometimes, that hurts me, as I am telling too much. Case and point, John says when I make a return at a store without a receipt, I tend to tell the story from start to finish how I lost said receipt... and while my reasoning is because I don't want them to think I stole the item, he says it makes me look more suspicious! So, I've been practicing the art of shutting the hell up and giving one word answers. It's been refreshing! Instead of giving the boss the story of why I was late a week back, I simply apologized for being late and moved on with my day. He didn't need to hear how I had come to be late (it was only about 20 minutes or so), and he didn't ask for a further explanation.


24. Don't be afraid to dance like no one is watching, and don't be ashamed if you look over and someone actually is watching.
I love to dance. Apparently, this is not a well known fact, as I have surprised a few people (like my mother) when I told her this. No, I'm no professional, I don't take lessons, and I don't go to a zumba class anymore, but when the mood strikes and the bump is right, I'll get down anywhere! I love to play the "latin workout" station on Pandora in my car, and find myself grooving on the go. Sometimes, the car next to me will see. I've seen reactions from smiling, to laughing, to them shouting out at me (but my music is so loud I don't hear what they say) and I keep dancing. Because it's an expression of who I am. I boogie for the world to see! And if that "Fat Girl Dancing" Whitney Thore hadn't stolen my shine first, I could have been the famous Fat Girl Dancer! :-P ((Seriously though, that No Body Shame campaign she has going is very inspirational!!))


25. You will only ever feel like shit if you let yourself feel like shit.
I have been called every name under the sun. From jokes about my very white skin, to my weight, even my freckles.. people love to cut others down to make themselves feel better. And sometimes even I judge people. But I have NEVER once said anything TO anyone. I make my jokes to myself, and then feel like a shitty person anyway. I'll never understand how bullies can do this and not OUTWARDLY show their self-loathing. Do these people just not have hearts? Or a conscience? I have decided that I need to take a stand and let no one make me feel bad about myself. If you don't like my ghost-white skin, well screw you too! I'm beautiful, and I'll never look like old leather because I don't even get tan, ever! Have fun with your skin cancer! :-P


26. Cheat days do not mean you are weak. Just because you are trying to get "healthy/skinny/fit/whatever you call it" does not mean you don't get to treat yourself.
Let's face it, we all have a weakness. Cereal is mine, but so are so many other things... like ice cream, and soda, and sugar, and white bread, and so on and so on! Basically, if it's bad for me, I have a secret love affair with it! But I'm also trying to get healthy. So do I stop eating these things? Everyone else would tell you YES.. but I said NO, with a "BUT" involved. No, you shouldn't stop eating those things.... BUT, you should monitor what you are putting in your mouth and know that the ice cream means more miles on the treadmill or more reps on leg day. Control your portion size and your frequency. Ice cream every day? Bad idea. Once a month? Maybe not enough.... so find a middle ground that doesn't sabotage your efforts, but doesn't leave you starving for your next fix.


And finally.... the 27th thing I've learned so far in life....


27. Birthdays are just days that celebrate your birth.
With my 28th birthday eight days away (HOLY COW!) I thought I was going to freak out. And I did. A little. It means I'm not a young kid anymore. I'm an adult... .with responsibilities and commitments. And a grown up job, and a grown up life. I'm no longer a girl in my 20's.... but a woman nearing her 30's. UGH.
So what's the big deal? I can't stop the aging process (no matter how hard I try), and these once-a-year freakouts just aren't worth it. So, I'm not making a big deal out of this.. I made this list to celebrate all that I have come to know in my lifetime, and celebrate the day my mom gave me a life of my own (quite literally!). Hopefully, no matter what your age in life, you, too can find the joy in growing old and do it with some grace... because it's going to happen whether or not you want it to anyway!!

27 Things I've Learned So Far In Life - Part 2

This is a continuation from the first post...

11. Cotton underwear is no fun to run in.

Maybe I need to consult some 5k forum boards, but I thought cotton would be ok to run in? It's not. I got chaffed, I got sore, and the place where my torso meets my legs were raw from the rubbing! Talk about a serious rug burn! So.... now I have to find new underwear to underWEAR! :)

12. Pounds may be very hard to lose, but confidence is very easy to gain.

One thing I hated about my old gym was that I felt stared at, judged, and bullied around despite no one actually ever talking to me. With my new gym, Planet Fitness, I don't feel like that at all. The staff are all super nice and actually know me by name, and on top of that I have even gone over to the cable machines and been greeted warmly when asking of a machine is free.

What I truly mean by this confidence thing, though, is that as I've worked out more, I saw differences in myself. Not just physically, but also mentally. I was holding my head higher, and I was owning the ground I walked on. I need to get back to that... because....

13. My mood is DIRECTLY correlated to how long it's been since my last workout.

Lately, I've been a real Debbie Downer and Susy Sucky-'tude. I'm pissy and all around depressed, especially after not getting that job that I felt so. damn. good. about. And no wonder.... I haven't been to the gym ONE TIME in the ENTIRE month of March!! April will be the redemption month. Not because I can feel it, or that I'm rededicated to my goals, but because I have no choice. Each day I stay the way I am, I lose minutes, hours, or even days of my life because of the fat. No more. No more excuses!

14. Much like a song in a movie can bring that scene to your memory long after you've watched it ("I've Had The Time of My Life", anyone??), I have songs in my life that I will hear and it brings me back to a specific moment in my life.

A few songs I can name that do that are, "Wreck of the Day" - Anna Nalick, "Unforgiven 2" - Metallica, "Walk" - Foo Fighters

These songs each bring me back in time to a point that may not even have been important (like a special event), but they are memories that have defined who I am today. They have shaped my life, my choices, and each time I hear this song, I go back to that moment and feel grateful that I am able to see what I saw once again. Do you have any songs like that?


15. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." - Spoken by Agent Kay in "Men in Black".
This is so true. That pack mentality can make or break a situation, and it seems that we are just sheep waiting for the next Fox News report to come out nay-saying against this or that. You make waves when you go against the grain, or try and make a change to better yourself. People are quick to judge and even quicker to forget about you. Not that I need someone as my audience, but as a person with a people-centric personality, I like a little recognition, and love to give it out. It's what makes me so good at what I do, and what will help me to succeed in anything I decide to do in life.



16. I find that I can blame my parents for some of my shortcomings as an adult.
My parents never really made me stick to anything. I tried gymnastics, but I quit. Tee-ball, but I got tired of playing with the boys (and I broke my ankle doing so). I got a keyboard for Christmas one year and quit when I found out I wasn't a natural virtuoso and struggled to learn to read music (I still can't). If my parents had made me stick to these things as a child... finish a season, or go through the motions of lessons, maybe I would have an easier time sticking to a gym routine. I find it's all too easy to say "Nah, I don't feel like going to the gym today." ... Because I don't feel like going to the gym EVER. I hate it. I hate getting sweaty and yucky, and I'm self conscious I'm going to be so smelly the stick figure on the treadmill next to me will smell me and gag and then everyone at the gym will point and laugh and make fun of the smelly fat girl (my imagination is pretty intense). But I force myself to go, when I can. March being the exception when life just got away from me... I am sticking to a routine this month and beyond if it has to kill me to do so.



17. I can also blame my parents for all of the wonderful things about me.
My parents were by no means the best parents ever. An alcoholic father, an unfaithful pill-addict mother, I wasn't exactly their focus in life. That being said, my father and mother both did the very best they could with what they had to give. It made me who I am. I learned how to be resourceful. I learned that I can do things on my own (many young adults don't go to movies by themselves or go exploring in new cities alone.... I do!) I watched how hard my parents did work to keep us kids happy and healthy and learned that my own happiness can and sometimes should come second to the happiness of my family in whole. Even the years we didn't have extra money, we still managed to have a family vacation in the summer and my parents sacrificed a lot to make it happen. I do that today. I will make little sacrifices and changes to keep my fur-kids in good health, or to make my husband happy, or to do something for someone else I love; sometimes it's at the inconvenience of me, sometimes I do it happily. My older brother was also a huge influence, and I can see it that he's grown up to be a wonderful person just like my father is. My older brother deserves so much more than he gives himself credit for, and I think sometimes he is afraid to shine in all areas in his life (because there are some areas he will flaunt those like a peacock!)



18. The older I get, the more afraid I become of dying.
It sounds silly. But the other day in the shower I nearly gave myself a panic attack because I thought about the future, and how some day I'm going to die. It's not so much the dying part that has me freaked.... It's the uncertainty about how and when and why I will die that has me afraid. The odds are not in my favor... I have a family history that's 10' long and full of nasty cancers and disease; I don't know if breast cancer will claim me or if I will have a stroke or if I will get hit by a car or die in a plane crash, and that scares the bejeezus out of me. It could be next week for all I know. And then my schooling will have been all for nothing. You see what I mean about it being so scary? I try not to think about it, of course.... I don't have control on the whats/wheres/whens/whys of life... I just have to make the best today I can and hope when I get to the Pearly Gates (whenever that is), that I get let on through.


To be continued yet again..... :)

27 Things I've Learned So Far in Life - Part 1

1. Owning a house is a LOT more work than I thought it was as a kid.
"When I grow up I'm going to live in a CASTLE!!"
...... I'm so glad I don't. With both of us working full-time jobs, John and I have trouble keeping up the house. It's not something you'd see on the Hoarders TV show or anything, but tumbleweeds of doghair are a common sight.

2. When the man of the house is gone, you need to call your daddy to save you from the leaking toilet pipe.
You read that right. Last year, Husband was in Tennessee working hard and picking up brownie-points and some extra money for work. A pipe in the guest bathroom had split, and flooded more than half of the office, which shares a wall with the guest bathroom. The carpet was soaked, I had already had a bad day, it was past normal business hours, and I did nothing but cry like a little girl and call my Daddy. Damn right I did. Because I had no idea what to do. It had never happened to me before, so I didn't think to turn off the water to the house, or to google for an emergency plumber. I sat and cried until my Dad arrived and helped me through the "crisis". For good measure, my DIY-er Mother-In-Law came over and reassured me that this is something I can learn from.

3. There is nothing better than a purring cat.
Seriously. It is the best sound in the world. The rumbling soft fur, the face of complete contentment, it is the remedy for most things that go wrong in life. Patrice has consoled me more times than I can count, but never through a heartbreak (for which I'm so glad!). He is a great snuggler, and freely gives his love and affection whenever I want.

4. If you need to learn how to do something around the house, Google and YouTube are your best friends.
Screw the old school "learn it from your dad/mom/grandpa/etc". If I need to know how to do something, I'm Google-ing that shit. Don't know the best way to hang straight pictures? WTF is a level? Use toothpaste (no, really.). Never had to put a sliding door back in its track? YouTube is your best friend!

5. I have discovered that no matter where I work, there will always be drama, and childish behavior, and people you hate.
So true. Maybe hate is a strong word. There will always be unfairness and favoritism in play. No matter how good you are at your job, you will inevitably end up someone lesser's lapdog because the boss is a sexist/racist/all around ass of a man. This has rang true no matter where I've worked, and no matter what the gender of my boss.

6. The people who treat you the worst are those who know you don't love yourself the best.
Think about it. Anyone who has ever treated me like shit are the ones whom I had confided in, shared secrets with, and trusted. That does not mean that EVERYONE I shared with has done that, no... but the ones who hurt me were always the ones I loved and trusted the most. If a stranger walked up to me and called me a failure, I would assume they were having a bad day and move on. But when someone you just confided in about being 27 with only an Associate's Degree to show after years of putzing around and changing majors calls you a failure, well... it hurts.

7. I don't have to follow the recipe in order to cook a success.
This is very true. My husband likes when I cook, and likes when I try new recipes. But his number 1 thing? "You don't have to follow the exact recipe... make it your own." Well, as someone who hasn't invested hours upon hours into Good Eats and other cooking science shows, maybe I don't understand fat ratios or yeast behaviors, and NEED the recipe to follow. Because I did that once... not follow the recipe... and my bread never rose. I baked rocks. Or at least they felt like rocks.
But, as I've cooked more, and learned what I can and can't do without cheating and finding a recipe on Pinterest, I have learned to pave my own way. I don't have an arsenal in my mind, but I can look at raw ingrediants and find something to make from them while in the kitchen.
...But I'll never be as good a cook as my husband! :)

8. Love means loving the other person even when you hate them; not running even when you're scared; and taking care of each other.
That is a nod to Grey's Anatomy, Derek and Meredith's "Post-It Note" wedding vows. But I've come to adopt it as my mantra. Because even when John drives me nuts, I still love him to the ends of the world and back. We have been together over ten years, living together for 8, married for over 3. We know everything there is to know, and sometimes the love I have for him is so heavy in my heart I could weep. But instead I do the girl thing of picking fights and getting mad without telling him why, and I can see I drive him nuts. But he still kisses me goodnight. No matter what... at the end of the day I have my best friend to crawl into bed with and keep the monsters at bay.

9. I have the weirdest dreams.
From my mother dying on an operating table to being chased down the street by a vengeful tornado, I have seen it all... behind closed lids, I have all of my senses in my dreams, and on more than one occasion I have been not only aware what I was dreaming and could influence it, but more often then not I can fall right back into a dream after a midnight potty run. Some dreams are good (oh so very good....) and others, like the first example, have woken me up unable to breathe and unable to get back to sleep (like I would want to after a nightmare like that).

10. I have the best intentions and the worst motivation.
"Do it today or later you'll pay." This phrase has no meaning, and all of the meaning in the world to me. I am a procrastinator about many things... laundry, cleaning, errands (I tend to let them pile up until I end up spending a whole day off out of the house running around). And for whatever reason, I am SUPER good at homework planning. I devised a 7-day schedule that had my work schedule, my gym schedule, and my homework schedule (broken down by classes and color coded in terms of difficulty), and I was on top of my game. Because I have no classes this semester, I have left that planner in my desk and have forgotten about it. I have a small planner in my purse that I could use, with plenty of room to make my notes... but mostly it sits ignored at the bottom.
Whatever my problem is, it is within myself to change it. In high school I was so bad at planning that I would rarely get a full night of sleep before going back to school on Monday because of all the homework I had left to do; now, I would skip the gym and force myself to go to the library to get my study time in. I just wish I had that willpower to do it with my life.
The funny thing is, that obviously I do have it in me to make the changes, but I don't. Because I just don't. There is no reason why. It's too many factors that have influenced me up until this point that I have chosen to let guide my choices.
Of course, the planner-part of me is standing up with a fist triumphantly raised shouting "Well NO MORE!"...... But my motivator is sitting her ass on the couch saying "Meh. We'll do it starting tomorrow." And thus the circle continues. I always wake up with the best intentions, and go to bed with the best excuses and motivation and hope for tomorrow.

.... To Be Continued...

Realizations

You'll have to forgive any misspellings I may have, as I am blogging via my kindle fire....

In researching fitness tips and health suggestions, I came across a recurring theme when it came to the balance of food and exercise.

Let me preface this with the fact that I don't think I eat junk. I gave up quite a few vices, I can no longer eat a whole bag of potato chips, nor have I had a soda since Christmastime. That being said, I think I still have some bad habits to kick. Like cereal (although I didn't buy any this week!), sugary kids candy like fundip (my go-to movie candy), and more.

Does that realization mean I need to go completely nuts and go vegan or paleo??? Hello no! But I need to shift my focus from relying on the gym to help me lose weight to relying on my food habits to get me where I want to be. Because, as these and so many other photos will tell you.... abs are built in the kitchen, not the gym.

2015 Reading Challenge - Updated 6-15-15

So, one of my co-workers who is also a Pinterest user found this 2015 Reading Challenge.

It looks like the list originates from PopSugar, which is a website I love for their fitness tips and articles.

I'm compiling my list of books now, so that way I don't need to wait to transition from book to book. I feel pretty good. I might only be able to have a good run for the Spring, because I'm hoping to start at my University for the summer at least, if not the fall. This will be updated periodically, as I find more books to add to the list. I'll also be striking through what I have read.

So, here'e reading list, and my picks! (And the date I finished them!)

• A book with more than 500 pages
• Inferno, Dan Brown
• A classic romance
• The Princess Bride, William Goldman
• A book that became a movie
• Still Alice, Lisa Genova
• A book published this year
• Playlist for the Dead, Michelle Falkoff
• A book with a number in the title
• Four, Veronica Roth
• A book written by someone under 30
• The Kissing Booth, Beth Reekles
• A book with nonhuman characters
• The Underneath, Kathi Appelt
• A funny book
• My Horizontal Life, Chelsea Handler
• A book by a female author
• The Other Boleyn Girl, Philippa Gregory 1-12-15
• A mystery or thriller
• Eyes, Joseph Glass
• A book with a one-word title
• Blood, Joseph Glass
• A book of short stories
• What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, Raymond Carver
• A book set in a different country
• The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
• A nonfiction book
• The Astronaut Wives Club, Lily Koppel
• A popular author's first book
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey
• A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet
• Afterworld, Scott Westerfeld
• A book a friend recommends
• Prayers For Sale, Sandra Dallas 6-10-15
• A Pulitzer Prize winner
• Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout
• A book based on a true story
• A Stolen Life, Jaycee Dugard
• A book at the bottom of your to-read list
• A book your mom loves (except my mom doesn't read so in going to read a book my husband loves)
• A book that scares you
• A book more than 100 years old
• A book based entirely on its cover
• A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't
• The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
• A book you can finish in 1 day
• Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak
• A book with antonyms in the title
• Death: A Life, George Pendle
• A book set somewhere you've always wanted to visit
• A book that came out the year you were born
• Misery, Stephen King, 1987 1-28-15
• A book with bad reviews
• 
  
• A trilogy
• Matched, Ally Condie 3-3-15
• Crossed, Ally Condie 3-6-15
• Reached, Ally Condie
• A book from your childhood
• Hatchet, Gary Paulsen
• A book with a love triangle
• Mr. Fox, Helen Oyeyemi 4-21-15
• A book set in the future
• Allegiant, Veronica Roth
• A book set in high school
• Bully, Penelope Douglas
• A book with a color in the title
• The White Queen, Philippa Gregory
• A book that made/will make you cry
• By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead, Julie Ann Peters 1-31-15
• A book with magic
• The Time Traveler's Wife, Audrey Niffenegger
• A graphic novel
• Vampire Academy Graphic Novel Series, Leigh Dragoon 7/10/15
• A book by an author you've never read before
• Drawing Dead, Bennett Shelfer (I've met the author but never read his book!)
• A book you own but have never read
• Unlimited, Jillian Michaels
• A book that takes place in your hometown
• Sworn Jury, John D. Mills
• A book that was originally written in a different language
• The Night Watch, Sergei Lukyanenko
• A book set during Christmas
• A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
• A book written by an author with your same initials
• The Fault in Our Stars, John Green
• A play
• Doubt, John Patrick Shanley
• A banned book
• Of Mice and Men, Gary Steinbeck
• A book based on, or turned into a TV show
• The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle
• A book you started but never finished
• The Autobiography of Henry VIII, Margaret George

If you love reading, this list is a challenge. I had a hard time finding books written by authors with my same initial, and finding books set in my hometown. What I look forward to most is finding some new authors to love, instead of sticking to my old reliables!

I am the STAIR-MASTER!

So, my dear friend Amy decided to challenge us in January to walk up the CN Tower, which has a grueling 147 flights of stairs, which amounts to 1776 steps.

She gave us a week, and I decided that since I don't have stairs in my house or anywhere nearby, I used the never-ending-staircase-of-doom. 

I dominated that challenge!!

Here are my results::

 Monday (1/5/15) - 350 steps
Tuesday (1/6/15) - 200 steps
Wednesday (1/7/15) - 350 steps
Thursday (1/8/15) - 450 steps
Friday (1/9/15) - 200 steps
Saturday (1/10/15) - zero steps
Sunday (1/11/15) - zero steps
Monday (1/12/15) - 240 steps

Total steps taken: 1790!

GO ME!!

Frustrations

So... it is the day before classes begin for the Spring. Let me start by saying I am still new when it comes to navigating what to do with college. Yes, I've been attending college for a few years now, but I've never had to deal with transfer stuff, dropped classes, and the frustration of there being way too many avenues to find or not find information that I can get lost in.


...Until now.


So... it's the day before the Spring Semester begins. I have a tour scheduled at UCF in February to see about going there for my Bachelor's Degree. I'm excited. In May I will have an AA in my hands and I am starting to feel like a real adult.
I had planned on taking 4 last classes here in the Spring to get an additional certification along with my AA. It's not necessary, but it would look good.

Unfortunately, FSW decided to cancel one of the classes due to poor registration. I needed that class to get the certification. It's not offered on another day, nor online. Which means, that yes, the other 3 I had signed up for this Spring are now obsolete as I had planned on this being my last semester here. So, now I'm stuck... scrambling to make things work, make my decisions and get myself upright again.

It's frustrating to say the least.

I have emails and tow lines out in all directions, to make sure the money I just spent on tuition I will no longer be using will be used to get myself together and get my Bachelor's on track.

I'm just frustrated.

FRUSTRATED.

FRUSTRATED!!